Early on I knew something  was a little off with my son. His speech was delayed right off the bat. I was living with my parents after my separation from my son's mother and my son and I were at the neighbor's house visiting. Later that week I got a call from someone at the school. Call it nosey or caring, the neighbor was concerned about my sons speech and had called them. I had just thought he wasn't learning words as fast as other kids his age. It was the first time I had thought something was wrong. At that point it was too early for school and I had no idea about autism spectrum disorder.      When he was about four I met my wife. She was from California and enjoys reading on the internet. She was the first person to bring up autism to me. We started researching and eventually got him diagnosed. Prior to that we knew there was a good chance he had autism because of his behavior in preschool. The elementary school gave him an assessment and a diagnosis of autism. Soon after that we started speech therapy for him which helped a ton.     Autism is a long road with ups and downs, trial and error and what works and what doesn't. Through the years he has been to cognitive behavioral therapy which worked a bit. Regular therapy, which again worked a little bit and by worked I should say he showed improvement. Many charts and signs, things we learned along the way. My wife was always reading about new things that helped other kids his age. Early on my son had troubles in school with his temper and blowing up which lead to me being at the school almost as much as him. Throwing chairs, water bottles and everything else. Swearing at classmates and whatnot.      My wife and I were stretched thin and thought there has to be more answers out there. We took him in to get another assessment as recommended by his therapist at about eight or nine when we got another shock. He saw a psychologist which then told us she thought he could have fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. I had not really thought of that either in the past but after the psychologist  brought up some of his symptoms it made sense. So with the ASD and FASD diagnosis it was back to therapy and many tries with charts and pictures to help him along the way. By this time he was having bathroom issues, would lie about everything and anything, sneak treats and use of the tv and computer. School was calling more days than not. We had an IEP going but the school just wasn't following through.      During this time we also had a house fire and my wife got laid off of her job of eight years. It was rough to say the least. I started drinking more which just complicated things. I was depressed and it seemed like everyday was filled with drama and heartache. My son's mom wasn't always attentive to his special needs when he would visit her and we were at constant battles with her. My poor wife didn't know she signed up for all of this. Many tearful nights and hopeless feelings.      After the fire we moved and my wife found another job. We started to get a better grasp on how to help my son. Eventually we decide on doing online schooling since his grades were hurting in school and nothing was getting better. The school was not accommodating his needs. Homeschooling was great, we moved at our own pace and he had very few distractions. After a stumble or two adjusting to school on the computer he really started to flourish. His last report card was straight A's which I never could have imagined before. We had problems with him playing games and  watching videos during school but got a handle on that.     I went to outpatient treatment for my alcohol addiction and I've been sober for six months. Yes there are still bad days, but just as many good ones as of late. We are all working together to come up with strategies to help him and talking out problems instead of yelling. Life has been pretty good lately and with the launch of this website I find myself busy and content.      All I can say to parents with children newly diagnosed with ASD or FASD is that it's a long road but you do start to see changes and strategies do start to work. Let things happen slowly which is easier said than done. My son used a daily planner which took probably 3-4 years of trial and error to get it down. My wife has been amazingly patient through everything and I love her and my son dearly! ...read more

I'm a researcher by nature. When something interests me I research as much as I can about it. I want to learn everything and anything about it; it becomes a passion of sorts. So when my husband and I first met and shortly after I met his youngest son I knew something wasn't "right" and started researching. He was four and still babbling. Well, when he wasn't singing the theme song to Spongebob which were the only real sentences he'd speak. He spent hours upon hours lining up toy cars or stacking poker chips. He was a very happy kid, except for when he wasn't and then, oh boy. It took years of advocating for him for us to finally get the multiple diagnosis of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder and Autism and by that point I considered myself a well researched parent. So how in the world did I miss the cause of a lot of our home problems; his need to fidget? I had read all about stimming and not being able to sit still or fidgeting with small objects, but there is so much more. The ways in which my step-son fidgeted wasn't that straightforward and because of that, we missed helping him for far too long. I recently read this article and felt remorse and guilt that I hadn't figured this out sooner. I'm sure I'm not the only parent to feel crappy about how things were handled and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I can only try my best and hope it's enough. The Clues When he was little he would chew up cords. Beyond freaked out over the safety issues, there was the frustration (and yes, anger) that my new iPad's cord was now useless. Or my phone was dead with no way to charge it. We would go on house wide sweeps to make sure cords were higher than he could reach, behind or under heavy furniture and would just keep an eagle eye on him putting anything in his mouth. If only we had known. Then there was the cutting of his hair and the clothes he would be wearing. It started at school when he was young. I blamed the teachers for not watching him enough or giving him enough sensory time (I'm so sorry). Then it continued as he got older after we started online school. I have to admit, at this point it seemed deliberate and it angered me. He would cut his new jeans, his sweatshirt, his bedspread, anything his hands could grab. We banned unsupervised scissors. I still didn't get it. We've had to keep pencils supervised or away since back when he first started school. He'd poke them through his clothes making holes. He'd chew the erasers off. At school he'd bother the other students with his pencils, poking, tapping, etc. I viewed pencils as the tool of evil. He needed to use them but couldn't handle them respectfully. I hated pencils. It wasn't his fault! Why didn't I see it after all my research? Everything pointed to his unfulfilled need to fidget. I didn't made the connection. Yes, he'd fidget when he got in trouble, but what kid doesn't? I'd be talking to him about something important and I'd see his fingers rolling his shirt hem or grabbing at his pockets and tell him "Stop playing and pay attention." He was paying attention and I was breaking that focus. I feel horrible for those moments. The Spark After all I'd read, I didn't put two and two together until recently. He's 13 now and we finally figured it out. I was searching for something, I don't remember what it was now, but came up on the fidget cube and the description on that page sparked something in my head. That "AH HA!" moment. The way it had described the fidgeting just clicked. We purchased a few fidgets (hand and chew) and things changed. We realized through all this that his anxiety has been overwhelming and getting in the way of a lot of things in his daily life. Poor guy was only doing what he needed to do and we were taking it away without another outlet. We failed him for years, but at least now can look forward to helping him better from here on.  That's the reason we chose to create our store with this theme. We didn't know half of these things existed until we figured out the fidgeting issue. And now I'm researching any and all things fidget. "Drew" as he will be known from here on is excited to help by reviewing the things we are putting in our store and giving honest feedback so that others can get perspective from somebody who needs to fidget in multiple ways. Thank you for reading and stopping by. Please let us know if you have any questions or comments to help make this store better. We appreciate your input. ...read more

...read more