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Life is a Journey
Many of us seem to race towards goal after goal in the hopes that this next goal with ultimately be the thing that makes us happy. But time and time again- after the newness of this attained g oal has worn off- we are out seeking the next thing that is sure to fill us with happiness. I have heard the quote "Life is a journey not a destination" many times in the past and I think it can mean many things depending on where you are in your life. Today it means to me that we need to enjoy the present moment! When we are so focused on the unattained future we suffer greatly due to a deep longing for what we do not have. The funny thing is that we so often miss all that is around us and in some cases the very thing we are looking for. If we are able to find peace and joy in this very moment we are relaxed enough to pay attention to that which is all around us. There are times that you may be very sad because you don't have the mate you want- or career etc.- and you slum around without showering or caring for yourself. You may venture out of the house totally unaware of others around you because you are so absorbed in your sadness and pain. Now the question I ask you is what if on that "journey" out of your home you met a potential mate, employer or business opportunity? Do you think anything will truly blossom here if you are in such a state of despair? Perhaps you or the other person don't connect because you are doing everything you can to not stand out or be seen. It's like trying to find your keys when you have lost them. You search frantically around the living room, kitchen and bedroom and can't find them anywhere. You are so stressed out that you search again and again. Perhaps you plop down on the couch to give up your search and there right in front of you are those keys you have been looking for for the last 20 minutes. That which you want may be right in front of you, but you need to get out of your head to see it! Expect the unexpected and keep your eyes open. Life doesn't always go the way we plan because it may have something even better to offer us. If we are so focused on what "must be" we lose sight of what "might be". I encourage you to begin to look at life like a journey to be traveled, not a destination to be rushed too. Find beauty in everyday- but most importantly find beauty in yourslef- for when you truly see the beauty that lies within you, you will see the world in a whole new way! May you have a blessed and abundant day and life:) Elizabeth Cappelletti, MA, LMFT Elizabeth@MyOTherapist.com www.MyOCTherapist.com ...read more
By Elizabeth Cappelletti, MA, LMFT July 05, 2011
Trusting the Flow...
It is often difficult to trust the flow of life- as we often feel like we "have to" or "want to" be in control of things. But when are we truly "in control" of anything? I would wager to say "never". We like to think that we are, that is for sure. I think my life truly changed when I learned to let go and trust in God- or the Universe- (whatever terminology you like best). Don't get me wrong, this is often one of the most difficult things to do, but it also the most freeing! There is a wonderful prayer called the Serenity prayer that I would like to share with you: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference." I am not trying to say that we shouldn't set goals or work hard in life- in fact it is quite the opposite! We reap what we sew- but the fact of the matter is we don't always know exactly what we will reap or if it will come in the exact package we imagine. Sometimes it's better and sometimes its worse. I've learned that often, the things I think I want really aren't what I want after all. I have also learned that the road blocks I have faced and all the many times I have fallen have all been life lessons for me. So now I pick myself up with grace and keep going- perhaps in a different direction or perhaps in the same direction with a different pathway in mind. I encourage you to write down exactly what you want in life- spend some time on this- put your order out to God or the Universe and see what happens. Remember although it may seem like you are in the driver's seat, you are really just along for the ride. But that doesn't mean that the driver doesn't hear you and won't take into consideration your ideas. The key is though that the driver needs to know where you want to go and that you aren't going to complain the whole ride there or give up on the trip. My message here is to be clear about what you want in life and not to give up. Pay attention to the flow of life because sometimes it can seem like every door before you is open and available to you and at other times it may seem like every door is closed. I strongly believe that when this happens, life is heading you in another direction for a reason- a direction that may seem opposite of where you are headed or perhaps may seem like a road block- but in reality is an important step in your journey.May you find your true path and passion in life! Elizabeth Cappelletti, LMFT Elizabeth@MyOCTherapist.com www.MyOCTherapist.com ...read more
By Elizabeth Cappelletti, MA, LMFT May 26, 2011
Just Keep Swimming
While I was walking by the beach yesterday I noticed that the ocean was very dark and choppy, yet there was an area just a bit further out that was filled with light. Just beyond that it was dark again but in the distance I could see another area filled with light. I mention all of this because it reminded me of the similarities that exist in our lives. We go through difficult times and work very hard to get to where we want to be in life and to have the relationships we have always longed for. Once we have them we are happy and at times it can feel like life is just flowing well. But the unfortunate part is that this doesn't always last and inevitably we are faced with a bump, a dark period or just plain difficult time in our life where we may feel like all of the doors are closing. This is analogous to the dark area in the water. It is deep, heavy and cold. While we are in it we cannot see that the light is just beyond us. Often I have found that these dark and difficult times build in us a great strength and provide us with deep wisdom- that is if we continue swimming. Image via WikipediaAs Dory in the movie "Finding Nemo" so wisely said: "Just keep swimming!" If you manage to pull yourself through you will find light again- I truly believe this. Standing above or outside of things it is easy to see this- but when you are in the middle of it it's hard to see any way out. But that is what your friends and family are there for and if you don't have a good support system then it is time to create one. Sometimes a therapist can be that for you while you start to develop new relationships with healthy people that will truly be your friends. I strongly believe that life throws us challenges so that we can grow and really appreciate the relationships and things that we have. If things are always running smoothly we may stop trying as hard or appreciating the things we have- we may even become a little arrogant- and this is not a good thing at all. Life keeps us on our toes- but the challenge is to just keep swimming! I wish you a life filled with happiness and abundance- may your dark waters make you stronger and always remember to keep swimming! Elizabeth Cappelletti, MA, LMFT Elizabeth@MyOCTherapist.com www.MyOCTherapist.com ...read more
By Elizabeth Cappelletti, MA, LMFT May 19, 2011