How do you stay positive when your child’s behaviors are driving you crazy? This is a tough question. Every parent knows that they have had a point in their lives when they were pushed to yell, scream, or worse because they were so worn down and did not know what else to do. The same cycle seems to happen over and over where your child’s emotions and your emotions get out of control. This is something that happens often but doesn’t have to. If you take a step back and start to look at the cycle of what is triggering you and your child, you will be able to better regulate your own emotions. And you will be able to start teaching your child how to regulate his/her own emotions. Positive parenting is about looking for ways to change the situation into a more positive one instead of continuing to punish bad behaviors. You have to start looking at the big picture and do a little detective work. Figuring out what is triggering your child’s bad mood may not be obvious at first but look at the patterns. What time of day does it usually happen, what is your child usually doing, and who is around when it happens? These types of questions help you to get more information about the cycle of behaviors that are happening. Then you can come up with a plan to intervene earlier on before the behaviors are out of control and your child is having a tantrum and you are screaming. It’s also important to factor in your own triggers so that you know when you are getting overwhelmed. You can get better at taking a break and then talking to your child in a more calm and rational manner. This helps the child understand what behavior you don’t like and takes away the emotional reaction to your mood. The key to any new approach in parenting is to plan ahead, practice, and allow for mistakes. Be willing to stick with it even if you don’t see results right away. If you have been doing the same type of parenting for years then a new approach won’t change things overnight, but it will change things. Positive approaches are very effective and leave you feeling good about what you are teaching your child. More blog posts are located at www.ithinkhappythoughts.com ...read more

The pitfalls of trying to stop your child's temper tantrums, nagging, whining, and bargaining. After working for years with many different families I have found that parents run into similar problems with their children.  Trying to find an effective strategy that stops the child from temper tantrums or nagging. Trying to figure out what works is hard if you grew up being yelled at or spanked for talking back or whining. A lot of research has been done in behavior modification and it is well known that children will respond and learn better if you provide a clear and consistent consequence for their behaviors.  A lot of times parents get worn down by their children’s nagging or temper tantrums and give-in to stop the behavior. It is often at a time when you may be in a public place or embarrassed so you want to end the behavior quickly.  This happens to everyone however it continues the temper tantrum cycle. The child learns that he/she can whine, beg, nag, or talk/bargain his way into getting what he wants.  You might even be a parent has managed to avoid yelling or spanking their child because you want to teach your child how to discuss what he wants. But discussion is not always an appropriate choice. If you have set a clear boundary or limit (telling the child he can’t do or have something right then) then there doesn’t need to be a discussion. Children do better when they understand the limits. If everything is open for discussion, then the child doesn't learn that no means no. The most effective way to stop tantrums is to be clear and consistent. What does that mean? Talk to your child ahead of time and let them know what behaviors are expected.  Let them know what consequences they will receive if they do not follow what is expected. Picking appropriate  consequences ahead of time is important. Then following through. If you tell the child no and they start to nag, restate the first response. If they continue you can give a warning that they will have the predetermined consequence (time out, extra chores, etc.). If the child still continues to nag, discuss, whine, beg or anything else you quickly implement your punishment. Do not discuss anything further at this time. They will learn that when you say, "no" that you mean it! If you are interested in this topic and what further information please contact me athattie.counseling@gmail.com ...read more

I will be moving my office to a new location. I am currently looking for a new office and it will be located near the mainline outside of Philadelphia. I will post the new location once I have moved.  ...read more