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The unity ceremony most often occurs towards the end of a wedding, after the vows and ring exchange, and symbolizes the union of the Bride and Groom. Typically, the Bride and Groom each have an item that symbolizes their individual selves, and another item is used that represents the union of those individuals. However, unity ceremonies can certainly represent more than the union of the Bride and Groom: they can symbolize the blending of many lives. If the ceremony involves other participants, such as the couple's children or parents, then it will most likely take place towards the beginning of the wedding, before the Bride and Groom say their vows. Unity: Candles and Sand In the case of the unity candle, the Bride and Groom each light a taper (the individual) and take their separate flames to jointly light a much bigger pillar candle (the union). What I like about the unity candle ceremony is that it can easily be adapted to include other family members, such as the Bride and Groom's children from previous marriages. Sample wording for a Family Unity Candle Ceremony: Officiant: "This candle you are about to light is a candle of family. Its fire is magical because it burns with the flame of a family joined in love. This candle before you is a candle of commitment because it takes # people working together to keep it aflame. This candle is also a candle of unity because all must come together, giving a spark of themselves, to create the new light. As you light this candle today, may the brightness of the flame shine throughout your lives. May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness; warmth and safety in the cold; and strength and joy in your bodies, minds and spirits. May your family forever be blessed. You may now light the candle." Another popular unity ritual is the sand ceremony, an excellent choice for an outdoor wedding, where candles may not work. The Bride and Groom pour separate containers of colored sand into a larger container, usually a vase or decorative jar. And like the candle ceremony, the unity sand ceremony is easily adapted to include other family members, with each person contributing a different colored sand from their own small container and mixing all the colors into a bigger vessel. Alternative Unity(s) If you like the symbolism of a unity ceremony but want something other than a unity candle or sands consider one of these alternatives: Unity in Glass: this is a very groovy interpretation of the unity theme in which the Bride and Groom pour colored glass crystals into a vase. The glass crystals are then sent back to the artist and made into a one of a kind sculpture. Flower Ceremony: a beautiful ceremony to signify the blending of family members and friends, each participant places his/her individual flower into the unity vase. Here is sample language: Officiant: "There are two kinds of family - the family you are born into and the family you choose through friendship and special relationship. ___(Bride)___ and ___(Groom)___ are blessed with both these families. This ceremony seeks to honor the continuity as well as the growth and possibilities of those relationships. In honor of the love they feel towards the loving people in their lives ___(Bride)____ and ___(Groom)___ invite some of these special individuals to place a flower in this vase to create a garden of love for us all. Each flower represents an individual, the entire arrangement the interrelationship of these family members and friends. May your relationships continue to grow and blossom." Unity Cup: the Bride and Groom share wine from a single cup. Variations of this ceremony can be found in both Jewish as well as Southwest Native American traditions. Love Letters and Wine Box: the Bride and Groom write love letters to each other which they place into a special box along with a bottle of wine. The box is sealed and becomes a "time capsule" that is to be opened on a predetermined date, such as the couple's 5th anniversary, or in the event of hardships within the marriage. Handfasting: whether the traditional Celtic version with ribbons consisting of thirteen colors or a simplified version using one cord, a handfasting can easily be incorporated into a modern wedding as a unity ceremony. Here is sample language for a brief "Tying of the Knot" with a single cord/ribbon: Officiant (holding the cord): "This cord is a symbol of your union and love. It signifies binding the hearts and souls of ___(Bride)___ and ___(Groom)___ but not to be of a possessive nature. The two ends represent your separate selves, but looped over into a knot you become one." (Officiant gives cord to the couple) "You may now tie the knot." (Couple ties knot) "May this knot stay tied forever." If you'd like to include a unity ceremony in your wedding: Before you set your heart on specifics be sure to talk to your officiant as well as a representative for the location where the wedding is being held. Your unity options may be limited by who is marrying you and where you're holding the ceremony. For instance, in some locations fire codes may eliminate the option of candles. Whatever your choice for your unity theme, be sure you include a dry run of the ceremony at your wedding rehearsal. Blessings to you for a long and happy marriage! ...read more
By Sherrie G. Robinson February 18, 2013
It's been a blessedly busy summer of vow renewal ceremonies: milestone anniversaries and couples who are re-dedicating themselves to their relationship after difficult times. What I find especially touching is that couples who renew their vows do so out of an enduring love based on the experience of their shared joys and hardships; a love that honors what has been while looking forward to what yet may be. In addition to re-affirming their promises, I always suggest to my clients who are not exchanging gifts, such as an anniversary band, that they re-dedicate their original wedding rings as part of their ceremony. As in a wedding, the ring re-dedication goes after the vows. Officiant: "When you were married you gave one another a ring as a promise of your love and trust. Today, as you re-dedicate yourselves to your marriage, let these gifts continue to symbolize the endlessness of your love for one another. May I have your rings, please?" (with rings in palm). “Bless this ring, Lord, that he or she who gave it and he or she who wears it may abide in Your peace. Amen” Wife/Husband, as you re-place the ring on Husband/Wife's finger, please repeat after me: 'I love you and ask you to continue to wear this ring as a sign to the world that you are my husband/wife.' As the ring was a gift given to symbolize the couple's endless love for one another at the time of their marriage, I believe taking the time to honor that original gift serves as a lovely acknowledgement of their enduring love and shared life. ...read more
By Sherrie G. Robinson August 30, 2011
In addition to poems, music and readings, I encourage Brides and Grooms to choose ceremony verbiage that fits their personal tastes and their "relationship personality". I like to affirm for my clients, "Remember it's your day, your wedding, your ceremony, and you can make it whatever you want it to be." As part of the ceremony two of the best places a couple can express themselves and their unique couple style are 1) in the actual vows themselves and 2) at the ring or gift exchange, if there is to be one. In the vows section of the ceremony each party defines and pledges their commitment to one another, and in the double ring/gift exchange each party offers the other a visible symbol of that commitment. One of the first decisions I ask my clients to make is to set the ceremony's "tone". Is it formal or casual? Will it be religious? Will it be entirely serious or will there be humor? Do they want a "traditional" feeling? Once the tone has been set I recommend focusing the verbiage to speak what is most meaningful to the couple. What exactly are they promising once another? And is there a symbol of this promise? Of course, having once upon a time been a member of Corporate America, I can't help but want to point out the vows are a contract; the rings, Public Relations agents. :) Among my favorite Wedding Vows are these lovelies: Bride/Groom: In the name of God, I, (name), take you, (name), to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow. Bride/Groom: (Name),I take you to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife). Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you, with all your faults and strengths, as I offer myself to you with all my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life. Groom/Bride: (Name), today I take you for my (wife/husband). I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live. I (name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife)/my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live. Bride/Groom: In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live. A few of my favorite ring exchange vows include: This ring is a token of my love. I marry you with this ring, with all that I have and all that I am. This ring I give to you in token and pledge of my constant faith and abiding love. With this ring, I thee wed, and with it, I bestow upon thee all the treasures of my mind, heart, and hands. With this ring, I wed you, and pledge you my love, now and forever. Whatever a couple's tone or focus is, I encourage them to verbally "go for it" and freely express what the marriage pledge means to them, and what the gift-giving and symbolism of their wedding rings represent. These words are poetic gifts the Bride and Groom give each other and reflect the heart of the relationship. ...read more
By Sherrie G. Robinson May 23, 2011
Whether you are seeing a psychic in person or having a reading over the telephone, it is important to be properly prepared in order to have the most accurate reading possible. Although this may seem unnecessary, there are a number of factors, such as tension, doubt and nervousness, that can stand in t... ...read more
If you are interested in learning about spirituality and would like to take a course or seminar on spirituality 101, there are various places to start. Many people who are spiritual have seen a remarkable change in their lives. It is just a matter of using the lessons taught on your journey to becomin... ...read more
