So, as I was walking into my buddy’s small granite countertop shop to meet up with him for some well-deserved suds, an obvious outside salesperson was walking out. I try not to judge based on appearance and gender, but I have yet to see any of his installers don a women’s pant suit and accessorize it with a leather attaché case. As luck would have it, I was correct in my very narrow-minded assumption and that she was in fact a salesperson with a colorful telephone book company who shall remain nameless. As an inquisitive guy and his unofficial marketing consultant, I asked him what their latest and greatest offerings are. He told me, “They want to get me ranked #1 on Google for $99 per month.” To which I promptly replied, “Really? For which keywords?” To which he even more promptly replied, “What is a keyword?” Here we go again. I had to explain to him that what she was trying to sell him is total BS. Here’s why: First, nobody can guarantee anything on Google unless you happen to run the place. As SEO professionals, we can drastically stack the odds in your favor by doing certain things to make Google like your website, but a guarantee is nothing more than a sales tactic (kind of like pricing something $99/mo). #2 Making a statement like “Get you ranked #1 on Google” means absolutely nothing meaningful unless you dig deeper and start talking about keywords. So, you may be asking yourself, “What are keywords?” Funny you should ask. When somebody does a search in Google, the word or phrase they use to search is called a keyword. If you are searching for information because you want to buy a new car, the keyword you use may be “Jeep Wrangler” or “new cars”. If you need somebody to fix your leaky faucet, you may search for “St. Louis plumber” or “emergency plumber”. You get the point. What really makes the sales pitch about the #1 ranking on Google so shady is that they don’t tell you for which keyword you will be ranked. Some keywords are much more valuable than others, ergo the competition to get ranked for them is much more fierce and expensive. For example, “insurance quotes” is the Holy Grail of all keywords and gigantic insurance companies with the deepest pockets on the planet spend tons and tons of marketing dollars to make sure they are ranked high on Google. Two things make the keyword “insurance quotes” so valuable. First, over 1,500,000 people search for it every single month. Second, “insurance quotes” is a buyer keyword. Meaning, when somebody is searching for the price of a product or service, they have already decided they want to buy now, and it’s just a matter of finding the best deal for them. On the flip side of “insurance quotes”, the keyword “dirt cheap car insurance for my 1976 Ford Pinto” is pretty much worthless. Why? Nobody searches for that keyword and not many insurance companies are willing to spend money to acquire low caliber customers. Again, not trying to stereotype, but most, if not all insurance companies are not willing to spend money to acquire a customer that may be worth $10/month. In fact, the guy searching for “dirt cheap” anything isn’t exactly the client that any company strive to find. If we go back to my buddy who owns the granite countertop business, you see exactly what they are selling for so cheap. Upon further investigation, they wanted to rank my buddy’s business for a keyword that gets less than 10 searches a month. Sure, it looks really pretty when you see your company ranked at the top of the Google search, but if you’re the only person searching for it, you’re just flushing your budget down the drain. Plus, let’s take a look at the common sense component of the sales pitch. Of all of the granite countertop businesses out there, my buddy’s company was lucky enough to be singled out to be given the #1 spot on Google. Obviously, only one company can be in that spot, so this must be like winning the lottery, right? Do all of the salespeople sit around a conference table and decide amongst themselves who is worthy of such a wonderful deal? Sure, I could guarantee you that I get your website ranked #1 for the keyword “granite countertop business located on Grand Blvd in South St. Louis that specializes in off white and black colors”, and charge you $99 a month, but nobody would ever see it and your ROI would be exactly $0. It’s easily done because there is no competition for such a worthless keyword. My advice to any business owner that is being sold a once in a lifetime deal to get the #1 ranking on Google is to turn and run for the exits – even in your own building. St. Louis SEOcompanies that are trying to sell you that nonsense don’t care about your business and are just trying to make some easy money from you.
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