Frankly, I don't know how the term "shrink" got associated with mental health professionals! In my experience, guidance that has helped me get a better grip on who I am, where I want to go, and what it'll take to get there, has expanded rather than contracted my life! Learning to think, out loud, with a great listener (counselor, physician, pastor, professor, etc.) has been a dynamic way for me to get farther and faster--towards my dreams--than has anything else. For those of us with so much in our heads--it is imperitive to find someone you can explore your perceptions with. Whether you're struggling as an individual, or in a marriage, or as a parent, as a job-seeker, or as a survivor of the Recession, I hope you'll give yourself permission to get the support that's available. All of us need support. All of us need support. A few of us will reach for support. Hope that's you! When you look for a therapist, please consider these qualities, and pick wisely! 1. A good therapist is not out to be liked. They have to be solid enough within themselves to be willing for you to do the work you need to do. At times, trust me, that will make you ornery, unappreciative, brusque, and remote. A good therapist will strengthen you to be there, and move through that space. A weak one, won't ever risk your feeling uncomfortable, and they need you to like them, and to bond with them. Not good news, but better to know this. 2. A good therapist will let you struggle. That is why most folks drop out of counseling after 5 sessions, when the going gets tough. The first sessions are history-taking, and rapport building. We can't step on your toes on the first date. Know that a tough therapist, is one who will give you the best support--it just won't be warm and fuzzy. A good therapist wants YOU to MOVE toward what you long for, and is willing to PUSH you and PULL you toward it when you get stuck. 3. A good therapist wants YOU to THINK for yourself! He or she wants you to THINK well. That means, we want you to question stuff, and then question the answers you get. We want you to search, seek, knock, knock down, and open new doors. We are solid enough, within ourselves, that we do NOT desire to convert you, or program you, or groom you to be mini-me clients! We want YOU to exercise YOUR brain, your intuition, your radar, YOUR system! We want to help you see where those may need repair, or redirection, or an upgrade, but a good therapist BELIEVES that you are equipped in brilliant ways to find your own path. IMHO. (In my humble opinion!) 4. A good therapist does NOT act in a conspiratorial manner about the people in your life! He or she does NOT wince at horror, about your mother-in-law. He or she does NOT wag their head about your Ex. Save that for friends sharing a cup of coffee. A good therapist does NOT try to win your confidence or allegience by mirroring your (unfinished) emotions toward another person. They keep your emotions on your side of the line, and help you sort out options for handling them. Good luck on finding a good therapist! There are great ones out there, around the corner and even online or virtual (by phone session.) If you're feeling the nudge to get counseling, PLEASE do! It is a sign of strength and self love to say, "If things can be better than this, doggone, I deserve it." Just make sure the professional help you seek...is professional. Titles don't prove anything! ...read more

I don't know how the term "shrink" got associated with mental health professionals. In my experience, guidance that has helped me get a better grip on who I am, where I want to go, and what it'll take to get there, has expanded rather than contracted my life! Learning to think, out loud, with a great listener (counselor, physician, pastor, professor, etc.) has been a dynamic way for me to get farther and faster--towards my dreams--than has anything else. For those of us with so much in our heads--it is imperitive to find someone you can explore your perceptions with. Whether you're struggling as an individual, or in a marriage, or as a parent, as a job-seeker, or as a survivor of the Recession, I hope you'll give yourself permission to get the support that's available. All of us need support. All of us need support. A few of us will reach for support. Hope that's you! When you look for a therapist, please consider these qualities, and pick wisely!1. A good therapist is not out to be liked. They have to be solid enough within themselves to be willing for you to do the work you need to do. At times, trust me, that will make you ornery, unappreciative, brusque, and remote. A good therapist will strengthen you to be there, and move through that space. A weak one, won't ever risk your feeling uncomfortable, and they need you to like them, and to bond with them. Not good news, but better to know this.2. A good therapist will let you struggle. That is why most folks drop out of counseling after 5 sessions, when the going gets tough. The first sessions are history-taking, and rapport building. We can't step on your toes on the first date. Know that a tough therapist, is one who will give you the best support--it just won't be warm and fuzzy. A good therapist wants YOU to MOVE toward what you long for, and is willing to PUSH you and PULL you toward it when you get stuck.3. A good therapist wants YOU to THINK for yourself! He or she wants you to THINK well. That means, we want you to question stuff, and then question the answers you get. We want you to search, seek, knock, knock down, and open new doors. We are solid enough, within ourselves, that we do NOT desire to convert you, or program you, or groom you to be mini-me clients! We want YOU to exercise YOUR brain, your intuition, your radar, YOUR system! We want to help you see where those may need repair, or redirection, or an upgrade, but a good therapist BELIEVES that you are equipped in brilliant ways to find your own path. IMHO. (In my humble opinion!)4. A good therapist does NOT act in a conspiratorial manner about the people in your life! He or she does NOT wince at horror, about your mother-in-law. He or she does NOT wag their head about your Ex. Save that for friends sharing a cup of coffee. A good therapist does NOT try to win your confidence or allegience by mirroring your (unfinished) emotions toward another person. They keep your emotions on your side of the line, and help you sort out options for handling them.Good luck on finding a good therapist! There are great ones out there, around the corner and even online or virtual (by phone session.) If you're feeling the nudge to get counseling, PLEASE do! It is a sign of strength and self love to say, "If things can be better than this, doggone, I deserve it." Just make sure the professional help you seek...is professional. Titles don't prove anything! ...read more