There are times when you have no clue as to what you are in need of until you need it. This can also be related to those who may find themselves needing assistance with Mother and/or Father. For adult children who reside in another state, the thought of needing someone special to go into your parents' home to render a particular service can be frightening. So many uncertainties can plague the very core of your being and leave you with paralyzing feelings of guilt, despair, disconnect, grief and sometimes even alienation and resentment. These feelings are normal when decisions have to be made regarding your parents' long term care and your inability to personally care for your parents. I've often met several families who have had to journey through this tapestry of life's episodic moment. If you are facing this assignment in your life; be of good cheer. Please know that I say this with every good intent from my heart. You have been given an opportunity to show your parents that their well-being is most important to you. And when faced with these truths, you must know that you are not alone. There are several agencies, whether social, nonprofits, for profits, churches, rotary clubs and the like, that have many branches of assistance. Referrals from friends and friends of friends are great starting points. However, you should make sure to do your own due diligence prior to introducing a referral to your parents. Most parents are quite trusting and if their children are suggesting that they meet and allow someone to come into their home; then they will oblige the recommendation. And if there is a problem with that particular caregiver, then the second opportunity may not present itself as readily accepted as the first. In other words, you may not have another opportunity to "get it right". I'd like to give you a few pearls when selecting a primary caregiver who ultimately will be an extended member of your family. (1) Look for an organization that specializes in providing in-home caregiving services. This can be a nonprofit or for profit organization. (2) Once you've selected said entity, have a list of questions that you want answered from upper management or perhaps even the owner/operator. This is important. Often you can feel a person's passion through the phone. (3) Next, ask whether or not the caregivers are independent contractors or actual employees (W2). Another good question simply because most employees will have an ownership type mindset. I'm not knocking independent contractors. I've actually used them in pasttimes. (4) If in fact you go with an agency, ask that you be allowed to conduct a telephone interview with at least three of their caregivers. You should have questions as they relate to why they have chosen this field of healthcare, how far away from your parents' home do they live and how do they handle stress. Just to name a few. (5) Once you've interviewed the caregiver, rank order them from best, better, good...in that order. (6) Now comes the fun part, the interview with Mother and Father, if this is at all possible. Becare not to disclose to your parents what you thought of the caregivers, allow them to use their own decision-making system. The results have been striking. (7) Make sure to stay in dialogue with the agency's intake coordinator, manager or owner/operator whichever is most convient. (8) Once a selection is made, do a follow up with both the caregiver and your parents. Over time, you will begin to see that although the process is daunting and sometimes challenging, the results are more than a breath of fresh air. Whenever one can receive a peace of mind and provide the care that a parent is need of; life's expectations begin heighten and yield every opportunity for a successful selection of an extended member of your family.
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