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Self-Esttem
Low self-esteem as a illness Low self-esteem meets the criteria for an illness or disease because: Low self-esteem is uncontrollable in nature: People with low self-esteem feel insecure. They are not sure what normal is, and they are not comfortable with themselves or with others. They are experiencing behavior over which they have no control, just as a person with cancer has no control over the cancer. This uncontrollable nature of the behavior makes it an illness; therefore, the behavior is "sick'' behavior. Symptoms oflow self-esteem have commonality and predictability: There is a commonality between people who behave this way based on their families of origin or current relationships, and there is a degree of predictability surrounding these behavior patterns. Commonality and predictability of the symptom behavior make it an illness and a condition to be treated as such. Low self-esteem's life cycle is describable:There is a describable and predicable pattern of the life cycle in persons with this condition. This pattern of life cycle makes it understandable as an illness or a disease, just like heart disease or cancer. Low self-esteem is related to other diseases: One of the negative side effects of low self-esteem is that its victims often suffer high stress illnesses, such as ulcers, colitis, high blood pressure, heart disease, and cancer. Because there are other diseases related to this behavior, it fits the definition of an illness or disease. Low self-esteem can be treated: There are definite treatment modalities, which, if applied, can lessen the symptomatology of these problems. Because it is susceptible to amelioration by an applied treatment, it fits the definition of an illness or disease. Transgenerational transmission of low self-esteem: Low self-esteem as a state or being can be handed down and transmitted across generations. The ability to cross generations makes this an illness or disease that is highly contagious. Low self-esteem is described in terms of severity of condition: This condition can be described in terms of degree of severity, just as a physical illness or disease. This is another reason why it is described and treated as an illness or disease. Some conditions of low self-esteem are resistant to treatment: Certain strains of low self-esteem can be resistant to treatment or amelioration and, as such, require more dramatic interventions. Because these behaviors are not always amenable to a stereotyped treatment, it is an illness requiring an individualized approach to treatment. Low self-esteem is a progressive condition:There is a course in the history of the illness from (1) incubation, (2) acute stage, (3) chronic state, (4) expiration. Because there is a progressive nature to this condition it fits into the illness or disease model for consideration, discussion, and treatment planning. Low self-esteem can be a terminal condition, resulting in death through suicide, murder, accident, alcoholism, drug abuse, food disorder, heart disease, cancer, stroke, or some other form of physical breakdown. Because it can be terminal, it fits the description of an illness or disease. Steps to overcoming low self-esteem Step 1: Before you can take steps to clear up your case of low self-esteem, you must first find out its impact on you. Complete theSelf-Esteem Inventory. Then read theModel of Self-Esteemto get a better understanding of concept of self-esteem.Then answer the following question in your recovery journal: What is the impact of low self-esteem on your life, and at what level do you have the condition? Step 2: If your rating on theSelf-Esteem Inventorywas at the mild level or higher, proceed. Answer the following questions in your journal: 1.How is my life a reflection of the definition orcodependentdescribed in this chapter? What is the level of severity of this condition on my lifestyle? 2. How are thethree major symptomsof codependency, described present in my life? 3. How does my behavior reflect my belief in the scarcity principle, which says my life is better than what I've been used to, so I should be satisfied with what I've got? 4. What medical complication of low self-esteem have I had, do I have, or do I have a propensity for having? 5. What are the specificnegative lifestyle consequencesof my condition? 6. What specific characteristics of my background, my previous history of relationships, my family of origin, and my previous work history make me a candidate for low self-esteem 7.On which specific symptomatic behavior traits of low self-esteem do I feel no control? 8.At what stage of the illness of low self-esteem do I believe I am? Why? 9.What steps have I taken to address the low self-esteem symptomatic behavior traits which I possess? How successful were these behavior traits treated, ameliorated, or cured? Step 3:Now that you have a full description of your low self-esteem condition, answer the next ten questions in your journal to clarify your motivation to change or to treat your current behavior patterns: 1.How comfortable am I with the term "codependency?'' If I don't like the term, which term would be more acceptable to encourage me to get help for myself? Neurotic? Insecure? 2.How comfortable am I with the concept of my behavior traits being described as symptoms of an illness? If I don't feel comfortable describing my behavior as "sick,'' what term would be more acceptable to motivate me to change? 3.How comfortable am I with looking at my family of origin, schools I attended, work environments as the sources of my current problems? What alternative explanation of the origin of my problems is more acceptable to motivate me to get help? 4.How comfortable am I in looking at my problems? Do I deny their existence, both now and in the past? What steps am I willing to take to overcome denial of my problems? 5.How comfortable am I in expressing or experiencing my feelings regarding my problems? What would I prefer to have happen in order to help me address my problem behavior? What alternatives are offered to me in my circumstance? What if there aren't any? 6.How angry am I getting in just reading this material and in answering there questions? What does this anger tell me about the presence of low self-esteem in my life.? 7.How guilty do I feel about the inference that my parents' or spouse's problems are a root of my current problems? How can I change this perception to a non- accusative, healing approach to treat my problems? 8.How easy is it for me to accept the reality that everyone does the best they can, given their level of knowledge and awareness of their problems; and that no one purposefully sets out to screw up or to make other people sick? What other rational beliefs so I need to develop in order to give myself permission to pursue the remediation of my low self-esteem? 9.How comfortable am I in accepting that I need help for my "sick'' behavior when I have or am currently living with someone whom I believe to be really sick with alcoholism, compulsive eating disorders, drug abuse, compulsive gambling, or other compulsive disorders? What can be done to assist me in overcoming my loss of pride in order to accept my need for help? 10.What will my future look like if I don't get help for my low self-esteem? What can be done to fully motivate me to get help for myself now? Hopefully, answering these ten questions has motivated you to accept yourself as a person with low self-esteem who is in need of help and support. Go to Step 4. Step 4:Once you have accepted the fact that you need help to treat your low self-esteem condition, try some of the following pathways. One, two, or more of them in combination may be "just what the doctor ordered'' for your specific condition: 1.Enter into a support group which accepts the principles and philosophy of theSelf-Esteem Seeker's Anonymous (SEA's) Program of recovery. 2.Enter into individual, marital, or family counseling with a licensed or certified mental health counselor. 3.Use the Tools for Coping Series as a self-help guide to reorganize your life. 4.Enter a 12 step program of recovery such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Over-eaters Anonymous or Alanon to address your compulsive behavior.. 5.Enter into a support group for adult children of alcoholics (ACOA). 6.Read other self-help literature 7.Enter an alcohol, chemical dependency, or eating disorders residential or outpatient treatment program to address your compulsive problems. 8.Attend workshops or seminars on overcoming codependency and dysfunctional environmental issues. Step 5:Once you have used the helping strategies in Step 4, you should be on the road to recovery from your low self-esteem. If you still feel stuck and not fully motivated to change, return to Step 1 and begin again. ...read more
By Christopher Straley, LICSW, LCSW-C October 19, 2007