Anxiety is a normal part of childhood, and every child goes through phases. A phase is temporary and usually harmless. But children who suffer from an anxiety disorder experience fear, nervousness, and shyness, and they start to avoid places and activities. A child who sees a scary movie and then has trouble falling asleep or has a similar temporary fear can be reassured and comforted. But that is not enough to help a child with an anxiety disorder get past his or her fear and anxiety. Anxiety disorders affect one in eight children. Research shows that untreated children with anxiety disorders are at higher risk to do poorly in school, miss out on important social experiences, and engage in substance abuse. Anxiety disorders also often co-occur with other disorders such as depression, eating disorders, and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). With treatment and support, your child can learn how to successfully manage the symptoms of an anxiety disorder and live a normal childhood. There are different types of anxiety disorders as well. When your child has generalized anxiety disorder, or GAD, he or she will worry excessively about a variety of things such as grades, family issues, relationships with peers, and performance in sports. Children with GAD tend to be very hard on themselves and strive for perfection. They may also seek constant approval or reassurance from others. OCD is characterized by unwanted and intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and feeling compelled to repeatedly perform rituals and routines (compulsions) to try to ease anxiety. Most children with OCD are diagnosed around age 10, although the disorder can strike children as young as two or three. Boys are more likely to develop OCD before puberty, while girls tend to develop it during adolescence. Panic disorder is diagnosed when your child suffers at least two unexpected panic or anxiety attacks—which means they come on suddenly and for no reason—followed by at least one month of concern over having another attack, losing control, or “going crazy.” Children with post traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, may have intense fear and anxiety, become emotionally numb or easily irritable, or avoid places, people, or activities after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic or life-threatening event. Not every child who experiences or hears about a traumatic event will develop PTSD. It is normal to be fearful, sad, or apprehensive after such events, and many children will recover from these feelings in a short time.  Children most at risk for PTSD are those who directly saw a traumatic event, who suffered directly (such as injury or the death of a parent), had mental health problems before the event, and who lack a strong support network. Violence at home also increases a child’s risk of developing PTSD after a traumatic event. Many children experience separation anxiety between 18 months and three years old, when it is normal to feel some anxiety when a parent leaves the room or goes out of sight. Usually children can be distracted from these feelings.  It’s also common for your child to cry when first being left at daycare or pre-school, and crying usually subsides after becoming engaged in the new environment. When your child is slightly older and unable to leave you or another family member, or takes longer to calm down after you leave than other children, then the problem could be separation anxiety disorder, which affects 4 percent of children. This disorder is most common in kids ages seven to nine. When separation anxiety disorder occurs, a child experiences excessive anxiety away from home or when separated from parents or caregivers. Extreme homesickness and feelings of misery at not being with loved ones are common. Other symptoms include refusing to go to school, camp, or a sleepover, and demanding that someone stay with them at bedtime. Children with separation anxiety commonly worry about bad things happening to their parents or caregivers or may have a vague sense of something terrible occurring while they are apart. Social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, is characterized by an intense fear of social and performance situations and activities such as being called on in class or starting a conversation with a peer. This can significantly impair your child’s school performance and attendance, as well as his or her ability to socialize with peers and develop and keep up relationships. Children who refuse to speak in situations where talking is expected or necessary, to the extent that their refusal interferes with school and making friends, may suffer from selective mutism. Children suffering from selective mutism may stand motionless and expressionless, turn their heads, chew or twirl hair, avoid eye contact, or withdraw into a corner to avoid talking. These children can be very talkative and display normal behaviors at home or in another place where they feel comfortable. Parents are sometimes surprised to learn from a teacher that their child refuses to speak at school. The average age of diagnosis is between 4 and 8 years old, or around the time a child enters school. A specific phobia is the intense, irrational fear of a specific object, such as a dog, or a situation, such as flying. Common childhood phobias include animals, storms, heights, water, blood, the dark, and medical procedures. Children will avoid situations or things that they fear, or endure them with anxious feelings, which can manifest as crying, tantrums, clinging, avoidance, headaches, and stomach-ache. Unlike adults, they do not usually recognize that their fear is irrational. It is not uncommon for children to be diagnosed with both depression and an anxiety disorder, or depression and general anxiety. About half of people diagnosed with depression are also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. When symptoms last for a short period, it may be a passing case of “the blues.” But if they last for more than two weeks and interfere with regular daily activities and family and school life, your child may have a depressive disorder. There are two types of depression: major depression and dysthymia. Major depression lasts at least two weeks and may occur more than once throughout your child’s life. Your child may experience major depression after a traumatic event such as the death of a relative or friend. Dysthymia is a less severe but chronic form of depression that lasts for at least two years. Children whose parents have anxiety and depression are at a greater risk of being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and/or depression.According to the Surgeon General, anxiety disorders affect approximately 13% of children. There is also a correlation between anxiety and frequent illness. When you see your child getting sick a lot and missing school you might want to go get your child checked for an anxiety disorder. While depression affects all ages and both genders, girls are more likely to develop depression during adolescence. Research shows that depression is also a risk factor for suicide. Like other medical conditions, anxiety disorders tend to be chronic unless properly treated. Most kids find that they need professional guidance to successfully manage and overcome their anxiety. Several scientifically proven and effective treatment options are available for children with anxiety disorders. No one treatment method works best for every child; one child may respond better, or sooner, to a particular method than another child with the same diagnosis. Keep in mind that your child’s anxiety disorder diagnosis is not a sign of poor parenting. It may add stress to family life, however. It is helpful to build a support network of relatives and friends. ...read more

Shakespeare’s Juliet was 13, unready for love perhaps but, by the standards of her age, more than ready for marriage. Tom Sawyer is thought to have been 13 when he got “engaged” to Becky Thatcher. For some it is an age of prodigy: Anne Frank received her diary as a present on her 13th birthday; Bobby Fischer was 13 when he became the youngest player ever to win the U.S. Junior Chess Championship–within two years he was an international grand master. Ask 13-year-olds what they want for their birthday, and the answers range from a kitten to an iPhone to getting their nose pierced. 13-year-olds demand more respect from their parents and show them less. Every teenager says it is harder today than it was for their parents. Has any generation ever thought otherwise? Each generation has to face new dimensions in the world which bring new anxieties. Are kids growing up too fast?  What does that mean, exactly? As late as 1708 in Britain, a child of  age 7 could be hanged for stealing, and some of the most dangerous factory jobs could be performed only by children because of their smaller size. The biggest year for teenage births in U.S. history was 1957, because many brides were teenagers.  Each generation has a story to tell. Parents are worried about kids growing up faster, and that is physiologically true: 13-year-olds are more mature physically than they were a generation ago. Boys are reaching their adult heights at younger ages, which suggests that they are maturing earlier. Teens are growing up in a culture that sexualizes children and immerses them in adult images. What messages are 13-year-olds getting from the magazine media, music, movies and television?  What messages are they getting from their parents?  “Parents can only advise their children or point them in the right direction,” Anne Frank wrote in her diary in 1944. “Ultimately people shape their own characters.” ...read more

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