I recently came across a citing of an article written by Sharen Cervantes, a sophomore at Occidental College, for her campus newspaper. I have taken some of that information and expanded it to suit a broader application.[i] It seems with all the change taking place lately, that being a single parent is no longer a negative, but a choice; something pre-meditated and even embraced. A testament to this is the fact that more and more unwed mothers do not fit the traditional profile of an uneducated, hapless teenager.According to an article in “The New York Times,”the number of college-educated women choosing to have children out of wedlock has increased by 145% since 1980, with most of them being in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s. I am in favor of women in the work place and I support the right of anyone who wants to, regardless of gender, doing the work they enjoy and in which they find fulfillment. Up until the mid-twentieth century with the Second World War, women were pretty much housebound and unable to aspire to anything beyond domestic obligations and child rearing as if those were negatives. Being a single mother (or even a single Dad), doesn’t strike me as progress. While it is a testimony that the modern woman can manage a household and act as financial provider by herself, it also denies the single-parent child of certain very basic and essential needs:  a father. It’s hard to explain what it means to have both parents reside together or why not having that is significant.  The impact of not having a two-parent home ranges from the trivial to the vital; the child forever wondering what a two-parent home could have brought to his or her life, for example. There’s something about having a second parent in the house to forget or disregard a punishment when Mom or Dad is away. Things aren’t always rosy, of course. I know from practical experience that things like divorce and a negligent parent can make single parenthoodseemmore desirable than the traditional two-parent home. But shouldn’t that model still be a goal? I believe the biggest issue with single-parent homes is its effect on a child’s psychological and emotional health since it has been scientifically proven that children raised in two-parent homes tend to adjust better and be more successful as adults The issue here is not ability. The issue here is really efficacy. What happens, for instance, when a single parent wants to date? Are these individuals introduced to the children? Is it appropriate or conducive to an impressionable child to do so? Many of us who find ourselves working with these kids say no. It actually strikes me as egocentric and selfish. It’s not in the best interest of children for them to witness romantic partners going in and out of their parents’ lives. It’s even less desirable for a child to have these people coming into and going out of their own lives, especially when there’s a strong chance of attachment on the child’s part. Attachment leads to affection, affection leads to love, and love leads to a sense of hurt and loss if and when that person leaves the parent’s life.This is not fair to the children; it’s not giving them what they need, when they need it! And this does not promote a happy, healthy childhood experience. Yet, this type of situation is becoming almost inevitable and nearly universal. So, why the escalating need to put children in this difficult position? What’s wrong with providing children the benefits of a time-tested and scientifically proven tradition – a solid two-parent home? Change may be good in some areas, but change for egotistical reasons and the belief that other people have to change to make me happy may not be one of them. Parents need to learn how to be happy within themselves and in their marriage. When the parents are happy and getting along, children feel happy and secure and the world is not such a scary place for them. For children, it’s especially critical that we uphold traditional ideals like the family dinner table and family game nights in today’s high-tech, progress-driven world. There are already too many conflicting interests, to which the family must take a back seat, including work and financial anxiety. The one point of stability in all this disunity and dysfunction is the mother-father-child dynamic. It needs to be encouraged, nourished and maintained.   [i]http://www.drlaurablog.com/ ...read more

We all know that being overweight is not healthy. It is hard on our metabolism and hard on our heart. And the self-talk that we do, beating ourselves up, is hard on our psychological health as well, producing guilt, regret and lowering our self-esteem. Many believe they have a good idea of how many calories they eat. But research has found that we underestimate our actual intake by about 200 calories per day. That works out to about ten pounds of added weight per year.So maybe we should stop guessing and start keeping track. A recent study of people trying to lose weight, published in theAmerican Journal of Preventive Medicine, found that those who kept a food diary lost an average of 18 pounds in six months as compared to an average of nine pounds for those who didn't. I am going to hold myself accountable in 2009, and not let those added calories take a toll on my health. Will you join me in making this year a healthier and happier one? ...read more

Many of our leaders today are talking about change; a new beginning; starting over. There are many opportunities to do just that. We'll have to wait to see if it's just rhetoric or if there really will be change and if that change will be for the good of our country or not.  Every new sunrise is an opportunity for a new beginning for each of us.  An opportunity is wasted if we don't take advantage of it.  Most of us can probably look back over our life and remember wasted or lost opportunities.  If you are looking at an opportunity today, don't waste it.  It's possible to have opportunities for good or for evil. How we respond is what matters, and we can always be sure that more will follow. I heard it said recently that with any opportunity, there are always choices. We can make our choices, but we can't choose the consequences. So, we need to choose wisely. No matter what our faith, we must realize that we will always be tempted to act contrary to that faith. Even Jesus was tempted by opportunities. The Bible says, "When the Devil had finished tempting Jesus, he left him until the next opportunity came."  We all have opportunities today. How we respond may determine what opportunities we will have tomorrow. Be aware and on your guard. Opportunities may only knock once.  They don't usually hang around until you give in.  Whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone. Right?  ...read more