What is Counseling? According to the Oxford Dictionary, counseling has at least two definitions which is quite confusing: “ give advice to (a person) on a social or personal problems, especially professionally” “ the process of assisting and guiding clients, especially by a trained person on a professional basis, to resolve especially personal, social or psychological problems and difficulties As a simpler definition is basically a talking therapy that involves a trained therapist listening to you and helping you find different ways to deal with emotional issues. There is a big difference between a professional counsellor and a person who uses some counseling skills as part of their role, for example as a friend or colleague. Aprofessional counselloris a highly-trained individual who is able to use a different range of counselling approaches with their clients. Counseling can be a confusing term. It often has different meanings for different people. There are a number of aspects to counseling. It is very important that the counsellor is trained. It is also important that the process is about helping you to find ways to deal with your problems, rather than giving advice or telling you what to do. Counseling is: * The process that occurs when a client and counsellor set aside time to explore difficulties which may include the stressful or emotional feelings of the client. * The act of helping the client to see things more clearly, possibly from a different view-point. This can enable the client to focus on feelings, experiences or behaviour, with a goal of facilitating positive change. * A relationship of trust. Confidentiality is paramount to successful counselling. Professional counsellors will usually explain their policy on confidentiality. They may, however, be required by law to disclose information if they believe that there is a risk to life. The Role of the Counsellor Counsellors need to be aware that no two people are alike. No two people understand the same language in the same way; their understanding will always be linked to their personal experience of the world. The role of the counsellor, therefore, is to help the client to develop their own understanding of their situation. They will enable the client to explore aspects of their life and feelings, by talking openly and freely. Talking like this is rarely possible with family or friends, who are likely to be emotionally involved and have opinions and biases that may affect the discussion. Talking to a counsellor gives clients the opportunity to express difficult feelings such as anger, resentment, guilt and fear in a confidential environment. The counsellor may encourage the client to examine parts of their lives that they may have found difficult or impossible to face before. There may be some exploration of early childhood experiences to throw some light on why an individual reacts or responds in certain ways in given situations. This is often followed by considering ways in which the client may change such behaviours. Good counselling should reduce the client’s confusion, allowing them to make effective decisions leading to positive changes in their attitude and/or behaviour. The ultimate aim of counselling is to enable the client to make their own choices, reach their own decisions and act upon them. Counseling Skills There are a number of skills that are required by counsellors. Perhaps the most important are good communication skills. They need to be able to listen effectively, giving their full attention to the client. They need to be aware of certain body language and other non-verbal communication. Clients will often communicate far more non-verbal than verbally, so this is an important area of skill. Questioning is an important skill for counsellors, just as it is in coaching. Counsellors use questioning both to improve their understanding (as a form of clarification), and also as an active way to help expose the client’s true feelings and emotions. They will also use reflection to show that they have heard the client, and to validate the client’s feelings and words. Counsellors also need to be able to build rapport with their client, but not to an extent that would allow them to become emotionally involved. They also need to be empathetic. This means that they are aware of their client’s feelings and emotions. Empathy goes beyond being sympathetic (which is basically feeling sorry for someone), because the root of the word means to ‘feel with’. Empathy therefore means that the counsellor understands how the clients feels and can therefore ask appropriate questions and lead the client to positive conclusions. The nature of empathy is rooted in helping others, and particularly in empowering them to help themselves, so this is an essential skill area for counsellors.
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