How to Deal With Separation in Marriage
When a marriage is in trouble many couples decide to separate, which normally means one person moves out of the main residence and the other moves into an apartment or temporary dwelling. It is often a very painful time and often used to either try to mend the marriage or one step closer to divorce, depending on the desires of both parties.
- Take time for yourself and allow
yourself to feel whatever it is you feel. Your family and friends
will be well-meaning at this time, but may not be very objective
because they are on your side. They may state that he or she is not
good enough for you, but you need to allow your feelings to flow.
This will help you heal and have a clearer mind to decide if there
is hope for the marriage. - Talk to someone that is not
directly involved in the situation. This could be a counselor or
perhaps someone at your church. Talking with someone that is
objective will help you to make sense of the situation and often you
can tell them what you have been through more than a relative
because you know a friend or family member will react with emotion. - Make a decision on the future. You
have separated but do you wish to try and work things out? If so,
you probably both need to be in serious counseling to see how to put
things back together. If one partner is willing and the other is
not, the marriage is over. If you happen to be the partner that was
willing to work on the marriage, knowing your spouse wants out is
very painful. - Give yourself time to grieve, but
set a timeline. This is important because you do need to grieve, but
you also have to continue living your life. Therefore, if you can
get away on a vacation and have a different scenery for a couple of
weeks or longer, this would be helpful.