Very rarely will an addict or alcoholic admit they have adrugoralcoholproblem. (For simplicity, I’ll use the word “addict” to mean both drug addicts and alcoholics.) Sometimes they’re in denial about it, and sometimes they just don’t want other people to know. Either way, there’s usually a point where people close to an addict have a lot of suspicions. But often, they just aren’t sure what to make of them. It’s normal to be hesitant to accuse someone of having an addiction. It’s a serious thing to bring up. Sometimes we don’t mention it because we don’t want to admit there might really be a problem. Maybe you’ve asked about it and the person insists it isn’t a big deal. Maybe you’ve asked and the person was offended. Their denial makes you second guess yourself. But you still just have this feeling…. If only there was some sort of checklist or guaranteed test to tell you if someone is addicted to something. Doctors have tried to develop a list like this in their handbook called the DSM. Specifically, the previous version of the DSM diagnosed someone of exhibiting “Substance Abuse” if they experienced any of the following: Hazardous use/drinking Legal problems Neglect of major obligations to use/drink Interpersonal problems related to use/drinking Thus, that’s one place to start when looking at someone’s drug or alcohol usage. At the same time, some people might not find that specific enough. “Hazardous” can mean different things, and what exactly qualifies as a “major obligation?” With that in mind, here are some othersigns that someone is struggling with addictionand not merely “partying.” Pills, liquor, valuables, or money are going missing. No, you aren’t just imagining things. No, you didn’t randomly lose that money in your wallet. If you’re noticing a persistent pattern of things coming up missing, you need to look closely at who has had access to your things. You’ve found drug or alcohol paraphernalia. Empty alcohol bottles, pills and prescription bottles, tiny baggies, small bits of paper or foil, glass or metal pipes, short straws or syringes are a red flag. If you find one of these things, odds are it’s NOT the first time the person has used this item. They’re having money problems. Have you noticed this person is constantly asking to borrow money, or they’re behind on their bills lately? Are they trying to sell, pawn, or get refunds on things? It’s probably not that “work cut their hours” and it’s not just a “rough month.” The problem may be how they prioritize their time and money lately, because they’re putting something else first. They aren’t around as much anymore. Maybe they’re saying they’re sick or making other excuses to skip activities they usually attend. Someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol will avoid interacting with people because they feel a lot of shame. Even if part of them wants help, the shame doesn’t want anyone to catch onto their problem. They get angry when you express concern. Usually it’s endearing when someone worries about you. But when someone is addicted, anything that draws attention to their behavior is a threat. Faced with a threat, the person often reacts with defensiveness or rage. Don’t take that anger personally. Take it as a sign that you’re finally getting closer to the truth. Hygiene and cleanliness have deteriorated. Look at personal hygiene, their home, or their car. Be alert if you notice dishes, clothes, garbage, or mail that’s piling up more than usual. Likewise, check if the person is showering, changing their clothes, or wearing make up like they usually do. Similarly, the kids or animals, if there are any involved, might be a mess. Are the dogs walked and the litter box emptied? Sleep patterns are all wrong.Whether someone is usingstimulantsor “downers,” they will cycle between times of wakefulness and times of extreme tiredness. These cycles won’t coincide with the time of the day or the sunrise and sunset. Generally, energy levels will change with the availability of alcohol or drugs, as well as the time it takes to recover from the binges of drinking or using. Reading the Signs Isn’t Always Easy This is by no means an exhaustive list. There are many otherphysical and emotional signsthat can occur with addiction. Also, seeing these signs doesn’t mean someone is certainly addicted to drugs or alcohol. There are other reasons someone might show some of these signs, such asdepression or other mental illnesses. Also, it’s possible someone can have addiction but not show any of these signs. Naurally, people’s individual personalities affect how addiction looks. And, some of these signs don’t appear until the addiction has progressed. Not seeing these signs doesn’t guarantee everything is okay. Don’t ignore them though – being aware of these signs can help you interpret the strange behaviors you DO see. Overall, if you have a bad feeling, and you’re suddenly starting to see strange behavior, pay attention. Seeing these or similar signs means it’s time to listen to your gut and stop listening to excuses. What to Do If you have concerns about a friend or loved one, there are several things you can do. To begin with, you can reach out to a private drug or alcohol counselor, attend a support meeting for families of addicts and alcoholics, or call us atNever Alone. After that, you can share your concerns confidentially and without judgement. You’ll have the chance to get a second opinion from someone who is familiar with addiction. No matter what, suffering in silence and staying paralyzed isn’t going to help you or your loved one feel better.
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