About Terminal Child Funeral Planning
Planning your child’s funeral is an unbearable task. While it is tempting to let your emotions run amok during the process, doing so will only make it harder for you to get the job done. It is OK to cry, but you also have to work to get the planning done. Choosing a funeral director familiar with terminal children can help lessen the burden on you.
Type of Service
You have to decide what type of service you want for your child. Some parents choose to have a traditional funeral, while others decide to have a celebration of life. If your child is older or if you have other children, let them help you make this decision. Be sure to choose the type of service that will help you to cope with the grief you will feel when your child passes away.
Privacy Concerns
Some parents choose to have a very private service with only immediate family and close friends present. Other parents invite everyone who was involved with the child’s care to the service. Which you choose is a decision that you should make based on your feelings. While you are thinking about this, you should also decide whom (if anyone) you would like to speak at the service.
Location of the Service
You must decide if you need to have a funeral home viewing followed by a church service, or if all of this will take place at the funeral home. You will also have to decide if a procession to the gravesite will happen. If you are cremating your child or donating his body for medical research, you must decide if you are going to have a dedicated spot for your child’s memory, such as an unused grave plot.
Specific Requests
If you have any specific requests, you should write those down. For example, if you want bins outside of the funeral home to collect toys for the local children’s hospital, you must let the funeral home know and find out if it can accommodate your requests. Some other requests may be to have a balloon release or to have the entire viewing room adorned in bright colors your child loved. Again, this just depends on your personal preferences.
Paying for the Service
Unless you have life insurance for your child that was in effect before you found out about the terminal illness, you will have to think about how to pay for the service. In most states, you can apply for help through the Department of Family Services or comparable agency. If you still aren’t sure if you can afford the funeral, you can ask for donations or you can speak to the funeral director about charities, grants and payment plans that may help you.