You know when I was going through a divorce, I felt so alone and like I had no answers. I had a high-priced attorney but my pain and confusion were no match for his calm, cool demeaner.  What I learnd ,almost ten years later, after testifying in front of judges, and seeing hundreds of attorneys try their cases was that most famly law attorneys get kind of immune to the pain of divorce.  They have to detatch it is simply too much pain day after day.     Now I work with many attorneys to help their clients get the support and strength they need to not only survive but thrive after their divorce.  Divorce is a time of pain but also growth and learning if we allow it to be such.  Divorce still has alot of stigma attached to it and that is a shame.  Yes, sometimes it may be premature but mostly it is a decision made with painstaking care and there is much more thought put into it then the parties ever put into the thought of marriage.  So if you must divorce do it with dignity get the support you deserve and need, reach out and remember you could have a completely different life that is happy and content in just a short time. ...read more

As some of you know I started out as Superior Court Child Custody Mediatior and Investigator, while I was there I saw so many confused parents. They were doing the best the could but simply did not have the tools to be the best parent to their kids. Parenting is hard...especially if you have more than one child. Each child is unique and many parenting experts say that good parenting involves the goodness of fit between the parent and the child. As a parent try and be flexible. If you are using an approach that is not creating the type of positive results in your child, simply try another. Think out of the box...look to others who may have more creative solutions. And don't simply employ doing the opposite of what your parents did that you did not agree with! I really believe parenting is our biggest challenge and our biggest blessings. Please look at my web site for my information...www.holisticdivorcesolutions.com ...read more

Divorce is no longer just about hiring an attorney and going to court...you now have options. There are at least four options for getting a divorce. Traditional hire an attorney and go to court. Mediated divorce this is a great option if you and your spouse are on good terms and are honest about the details such as income, assets and debt. Mediation is not a good option if you are scared or intimidated by your spouse, if there is dishonesty in money matters or there has been child abuse or domestic violence. Mediation relies on the honesty of both parties. That being said it is the least expensive way to divorce because you are not paying two attorneys and spending alot of time in court. Collaborative Law; this a relatively new and dynamic way of divorcing. I think it is a good solution if there is alot of pain that may need the assistance of a number of professionals. The cons are it is expensive you are paying two laywers, two psuedo-coaches who are really therapists and a child specialist if there are children and often a financial professional. So you are looking at least a couple of thousand dollars an hour! They market it as being one third to one half the cost of a litigated divorce and they tend to say a litigated divorce costs $150,000.00. This is probably accurate but that being said even litigated divorced are usually settled. Then you have the In Pro Per folks this is not hiring a lawyer and representing yourself. In California, there has been a political push to make it easier to represent yourself in court. The courts have realized many people do not have the money to hire attorneys. This being said if your spouse does hire an attorney and you do not I think you are at a disadvantage. Any way you look at it logistics aside divorce is usually painful and I have met very few people who were happy the way it went. But if divorce is something that you decide to do my advice is to choose whatever method that will go the quickest so that you can move on to the next phase of your life. ...read more